The problem with most answers to this question is that they don not fully understand salvation and the new birth.

The process of the new birth is explained in Ezekiel and Jeremiah in the OT then in Ephesians, Corinthians, Romans, and Galatians in the NT.

When Jesus made His statement to Nicodemus about being born again, both were under the Old Testament law hence the answer is found there as the New Testament did not exist at at time neither did the Church which was still a mystery according to the apostle Paul.

With the proper context let’s look at the scriptures.

Romans 3:9 All Have Sinned

(Ps. 14:1–3; 53:1–4)

What then? Are we better than they? Not at all. For we have previously charged both Jews and Greeks that they are all under sin.

Galatians 3:22

But the Scripture has confined all under sin, that the promise by faith in Jesus Christ might be given to those who believe.

This means that everyone is dead spiritually to God and cannot in any means interact with the Holy One. How did this happen?

Romans 5:12 Death in Adam,

(Gen. 3:1–19)

Therefore, just as through one man sin entered the world, and death through sin, and thus death spread to all men, because all sinned—

Death means that we are dead. Colossians 2:13

And you, being dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, He has made alive together with Him, having forgiven you all trespasses,

Ephesians 2:1

And you He made alive, who were dead in trespasses and sins,

Ephesians 2:5

even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved),

News flash, dead people cannot repent. Dead people cannot pray. Dead people cannot hear. Dead people cannot behave in a godly manner. Dead in trespasses and sins!

Furthermore the scriptures also declares that even if they could (and they cannot) God states this:

Isaiah 59:1-4

Separated from God: Behold, the LORD's hand is not shortened, That it cannot save; Nor His ear heavy, That it cannot hear. But your iniquities have separated you from your God; And your sins have hidden His face from you, So that He will not hear. For your hands are defiled with blood, And your fingers with iniquity; Your lips have spoken lies,

Your tongue has muttered perversity. No one calls for justice,

Nor does any plead for truth. They trust in empty words and speak lies;

They conceive evil and bring forth iniquity.

Here is what the scriptures state about us all: 1 Corinthians 2:14

But the natural man DOES NOT RECEIVE the things of the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him; NOR CAN HE KNOW THEM, because they are spiritually discerned.

Cannot receive (believe) and cannot know (understand) no matter how many times the gospel is presented to him. Not only are we unable to come to God but we are unwilling. John 5:40

But you are not willing to come to Me that you may have life.

John 3:19

And this is the condemnation, that the light has come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil.

Then how can one be saved? You can’t?

Mark 10:26-27

And they were greatly astonished, saying among themselves, "Who then can be saved?"

But Jesus looked at them and said, "With men it is impossible, but not with God; for with God all things are possible."

The new birth is a creation of a new human spirit not the repentance and confession of a filthy wretched wicked unclean sin filled sinner dead in his trespasses and sins like me.

God kills your old human spirit first, that’s the new birth Jesus was talking about. That’s the birth which means creation, from above. Now listen to the scriptures.

Ezekiel 11:19-20

Then I will give them one heart, and I will put a new spirit within them, and take the stony heart out of their flesh, and give them a heart of flesh, that they may walk in My statutes and keep My judgments and do them; and they shall be My people, and I will be their God.

Ezekiel 36:22-32

"Therefore say to the house of Israel, 'Thus says the Lord GOD: "I do not do this for your sake, O house of Israel, but for My holy name's sake, which you have profaned among the nations wherever you went. And I will sanctify My great name, which has been profaned among the nations, which you have profaned in their midst; and the nations shall know that I am the LORD," says the Lord GOD, "when I am hallowed in you before their eyes. For I will take you from among the nations, gather you out of all countries, and bring you into your own land. Then I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you shall be clean; I will cleanse you from all your filthiness and from all your idols. I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. I will put My Spirit within you and cause you to walk in My statutes, and you will keep My judgments and do them. Then you shall dwell in the land that I gave to your fathers; you shall be My people, and I will be your God. I will deliver you from all your uncleannesses. I will call for the grain and multiply it, and bring no famine upon you. And I will multiply the fruit of your trees and the increase of your fields, so that you need never again bear the reproach of famine among the nations. (Repentance comes afterwards) Then you will remember your evil ways and your deeds that were not good; and you will loathe yourselves in your own sight, for your iniquities and your abominations. Not for your sake do I do this," says the Lord GOD, "let it be known to you. Be ashamed and confounded for your own ways, O house of Israel!"

Go back up to the three NT scriptures above and read that God “made us alive” first then we responded. The new birth comes from God first not the sinner.